Update Schedule

There was once an update schedule. It lived a good life, a peaceful life. A quiet life. But then... things began to change. It became more and more erratic, sometimes completely disobeying its very reason for existance. And at last, the update schedule could take no more. It cast off its chains and went free, seeking new lands where it would be appreciated. This message it left where once it had lived, to warn other schedules of the peril.

Tuesday, July 22, 2014

Things I Hate In YA Novels

Hello, welcome to the first day of an actual update schedule *gasp*. Now, for the list:

1) Dead parents. It's okay for people's parents to be alive. No, really, it is. Honestly. I'm not joking. They don't all need to be dead.
2) If one parent has somehow miraculously made it through, they'll turn out in some totally surprising plot twist (not) to not actually be the parent. Instead, the king/queen/CEO/nemesis/otherwise important person is the parent! What a shock.
3) The whole "NOOOO!!!!" thing when you discover that your dad isn't really your dad or whatever. They raised you, people. Adoptive families do fine. Yeah, maybe you're a bit upset, but GET OVER IT!
4) The fact that the biological parent invariably dies (usually in defense of the main character) just hours after the moment of truth. (But it's okay, because they're so happy to have found their long-lost daughter/son/dog/whatever.)
5) Long descriptions of the insta-love companion. We get that his bottom lip is perfect, author. Keep your creepy fantasies to yourself, thanks.
6) The main character who thinks she's ugly (because she's too skinny) but everyone else thinks she's beautiful. Get over yourself, people. I don't care about your self-esteem issues unless it's important to the plot.
7) The invariable quote from an old book/ poem, usually left by the dead parent (or were they the parent?) That's great and all, but it's a stupid plot device, unless the puzzle was created by the person who left the clue. Think of all the time that could be saved if they'd written "___ is the leader of a secret society intent of destroying the world through___" instead.
8) Insta-love. You just met the guy. Your love for him is not actually some rare special thing I should have to read pages and pages about.
9) Love triangles. PICK ONE OF THEM ALREADY! Just look where it got Guinevere.
10) Giving things in our world new names (Wikipedia and Google are commonly renamed). This doesn't actually make it futuristic, it just annoys me. Futuristic books need to be in the FUTURE not a slightly modified present.

That's all for now (expect this list to have a lot of continuations over future Tuesdays). The next update is on Thursday, with our weekly random update, and after that Monday, with a review of Fangirl, by Rainbow Rowell.

What are your pet peeves in books? Let me know in the comments section below!

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