Update Schedule

There was once an update schedule. It lived a good life, a peaceful life. A quiet life. But then... things began to change. It became more and more erratic, sometimes completely disobeying its very reason for existance. And at last, the update schedule could take no more. It cast off its chains and went free, seeking new lands where it would be appreciated. This message it left where once it had lived, to warn other schedules of the peril.

Tuesday, December 9, 2014

Day One of Editing: Still Sane

Word count: 63,200 (about)
Plot: About 3/5 of the way through. It's hard to tell at this stage.
Pages commented on: 8-10
Pages actually edited: 0 (some minor corrections)
Plotting done: Very little.
Sanity level: Medium to high.

Yes, I still have 20,000+ words to go, but it's such a mess that I really need to at least begin the commenting process while I continue it.

It's weird, but it's actually pretty relaxing, commenting on it (then again, this is a very early stage, not even really serious editing yet). Lately, I've kind of been going insane. Okay, not as in a psychosis (I hope) but it kind of feels that way.
When I was younger, I narrated everything I did in third person in my head (except when I forgot while talking and finished sentences with "she said", earning myself a lot of weird looks). It's been going away lately- in first person present-tense if at all, and usually don't happen. Except that the past week or so... it's back. I don't know why it's suddenly resurfaced years later, but it has, and it makes me feel completely out of control even in my own brain. My thoughts aren't even under my control anymore. It's terrifying.
To add to this, my panic attacks are getting worse. The only thing that I've found to really help is going outside, but in school that's not really so possible every five minutes. It's not a good situation for my mental health, and I've been retreating into TV watching to try to maintain some sanity, which is also really bad.
This isn't usally about my personal life. But I need to rant.
I've talked before about the world's opinion that I have no hobbies. Well, it's spreading- and this time it's the theory that I hate all music.
At the beginning of the year, someone asked me if I'd liked a song, and before I could answer, someone I don't really know said "oh, she doesn't like music". First of all, she had no right to enter the conversation in the first place, especially since we're not exactly friends and have never actually spoken to each other when not absolutely necessary. Second, she's wrong.
Today, my best friend pretty much said the same thing. It's starting to really annoy me. Yes, I dislike most pop music. I just do. But that doesn't mean I don't like music at all. I like a lot of Broadway soundtracks. I like a lot of classical music. I like a lot of Disney music (leave me alone, it's totally normal). And okay, I don't really listen to music while people are watching me, but that's because I don't like walking around while wearing headphones, not because I don't like music. People don't have the right to assume that kind of thing about me, and it really annoys me when they do.
And people do that a lot. When I talk about performing arts programs with my friends, they always assume I'm not interested. I like music, I like singing (although no one likes to hear me sing). I love drama. I even like dancing (although I'm not the slightest bit interested in doing it except for fun by myself in a locked room)! Why do people just assume these things about me?
So, yeah, there's my rant of the day. Today was a really bad day, and I needed a medium for ranting, and this blog was it, so I hope you enjoyed my rant.

Oh, and I've recieved inquiries about where the quote from the last post came from. It's from Shadow of the Giant (Orson Scott Card). Page 108, I think, although I might be making that number up.

I was going to use some depressing book quotes to match my mood, but they cheered me up. Now I need a new post to fit all of them...


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