NaNoWriMo... again

It is November, after all.

I went to one of those things where you go write with other people. It was kind of cool. But also... these people were all so dedicated. I mean, there was a guy with pages full of equations so the math in his story would be accurate and the science would work out. It's not that I'm not dedicated to my writing. It's not my top priority, but I get it done. I'm just not interested in sacrificing a month of my time to writing something that I know will be horrible.

I miss what I was writing before. I miss where I was in the story, and I miss being with those characters. This is pretty much the first story ever where Thomas hasn't made an appearance, one way or another. And, honestly, I don't like it. I miss having him. Yes, it's good to try new things- but I feel like I've been dragged away from doing what I love, handed something lesser, and told that secretly it's better even though it really isn't.

Also, the time commitment. It's not hard. Now, this might offend those of you who are struggling- sorry. But for me, it's just not hard. It's annoying, but in terms of difficulty it's not ranking very high. I just don't see the point, because it's not all that hard to do, just time consuming. And I really think that time would be better spent on other things. Like reading. Or anything else, really.

I reached 30,000 today, and to be honest, I don't feel all that accomplished. I felt really good about even a thousand words on a piece of writing I wanted to work on. I am positive that someday I will have a polished novel that I'll want other people to read. But it's not coming out of NaNoWriMo.

I guess I'm just not right (no pun intended) for NaNoWriMo. I don't see it as difficult, I don't see finishing as all that much of an accomplishment, and I resent it for the time it takes each day. I also don't like it in theory- 50,000 words is not a novel. 50,000 unedited words are, um... how do I put this gently? Not worth the pixels they're written in. Until some serious editing happens, what you have is junk. What I have is terrible. Probably everyone except those horrible people who do it all in one day and it turns out wonderfully (it's not fair) has something terrible.

I also feel really bad for the publishing companies. It can't be fun to recieve so many unedited, short, messy drafts every December. 

Wow, this has gotten long. Sorry, I just needed to vent about NaNoWriMo. Sorry I haven't been reviewing thing; NaNoWriMo has eaten my reading time.

Please, someone tell me about their huge struggle with NaNoWriMo, how they have... let's say 5,000 words. Make me feel better about having 30,000 (which I personally find rather pathetic, more than 10 days in).