Update Schedule

There was once an update schedule. It lived a good life, a peaceful life. A quiet life. But then... things began to change. It became more and more erratic, sometimes completely disobeying its very reason for existance. And at last, the update schedule could take no more. It cast off its chains and went free, seeking new lands where it would be appreciated. This message it left where once it had lived, to warn other schedules of the peril.

Wednesday, March 30, 2016

Review: Calamity

Calamity Calamity by Brandon Sanderson
My rating: 4 of 5 stars

Steelheart has always been low on my list of Sanderson favorites. This book did not change that impression, but that doesn't change the fact that it was a very good book. I found the writing to be almost flawless and it showed Sanderson's humor in a way I haven't really seen since Alcatraz. I wasn't enamored with the plot, but the writing made up for it. I do wish he'd done some more exposition on the last two books; I was a bit confused at times, but that's technically my own fault. Great book, fine series, glad this is the last one and that I read it.

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Review: The Shadow of the Lion

The Shadow of the Lion The Shadow of the Lion by Mercedes Lackey
My rating: 2 of 5 stars

I'm not sure what to say. On the one hand... it was awful. It's like the three authors didn't talk to each other or read anything after it was written.
But I feel like with better editing, it could have been good. It had tons of problems, but the lingering feelings that it had potential will bring it up to two stars.

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Sunday, March 20, 2016

Review: Dorothy Must Die

Dorothy Must Die Dorothy Must Die by Danielle Paige
My rating: 2 of 5 stars

Fine piece of fanfiction. Really, I applaud. 5 stars. Except someone published it.

Beginning was fine. The Oz characters don't act like they're Oz characters, though, and the timeline's uncertain. Also it's all a setup for a series, which is not cool. In the moments where the author had a cool idea and was a decent writer, it was fine. But the reason it was fine was that all the imagining had already been done. As long as it was just fanfiction, it was silly rather than bad.
But the author can't make up her mind. Book or movie? Sequels or not? She goes back and forth, switching backstories and then hastily backpedaling.
And this is the most incomprehensible review I've ever written. I'm going to stop trying and go get some sleep and water.

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Review: Glass Sword

Glass Sword Glass Sword by Victoria Aveyard
My rating: 1 of 5 stars

If you want to write in third-person omniscient, do. You can't do it in first.
It would have 2 stars (it was okay) if not for that. Otherwise a thoroughly mediocre book. Odd resemblance to The Hunger Games when it comes to writing style- normally I don't like that sort of comparison, but it struck me very strongly several times while I was reading this.

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Thursday, March 17, 2016

Review: Sword of the Rightful King

Sword of the Rightful King Sword of the Rightful King by Jane Yolen
My rating: 2 of 5 stars

First off, the blurb is disgraceful. Not only does it lie about what happens in the book, it gives away the ending. Luckily, the book is so dull no one's going to care about that. It's a shame, I would have liked to read the book the blurb described. Perhaps someone else will write it someday.

Writing: It's boring. Not bad, exactly, but oh so very plodding. It didn't hold my interest at all. There were a few lines that showed a spark of talent, but for the most part I just wanted it to be over. A lot more editing might have solved this, or maybe it was hopeless. Either way, my main reaction was extreme boredom and counting pages until the end.
The multiple POVs are... odd. The story switches around POV, which is fine, except it doesn't do so with any purpose. The beginning of the book turns out not to matter at all, and even in the second half many of the POVs don't seem to do anything for the story. I don't know why Gawaine is a main character at all- he doesn't do anything and his plotline just fades into obscurity.
Plot: Nothing like what the blurb said it would be, which really irritates me. It's purposely misleading. If the book isn't interesting enough to sell, don't sell it. Lying is not the solution.
I'm not really sure what this book is about, honestly. Arthur consolidating the kingdom? Doesn't really happen, honestly. Morgause being defeated? She never posed a real threat, and she's easily gotten rid of. The author started several plots- Gawaine not wanting to be king, Gawaine rebelling against his mother, Arthur learning to be a good king, Gawen finding out the truth... but they all just sort of go away instead of anything happening. If anything is resolved it's in a casual "and then this happened" fashion. Honestly, I feel like this book is more intended for people who know a lot about the Arthur story to fit all the rest of the pieces together- the author seems to think that it being a well-known story means that she can only retell a tiny, inconsequential piece of it and we'll just cobble together an actual story ourselves.
Characters: Arthur had occasional sparks of personality, but no one else did. Gawaine was annoying in his arrogance. His brothers might have been interesting, but we don't know much about them (the twins... argh. TWINS ARE NOT THE SAME PERSON. Everyone got that? Honestly, it brought back so many memories of being introduced as "one half of the twins". Ugh.) Gawen was so very dull, and while I hadn't bothered to pay enough attention to the book to anticipate the twist it also wasn't surprising or done well. I don't really feel like naming the rest of the characters, because they're all just boring plot devices. None of them matter or are likable, and they have as much depth as your average piece of paper.
So... yeah. Terrible book, misleading blurb. I wish I'd just given up ten pages in. Go read Gerald Morris' books instead; it's a much better use of your time.

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Tuesday, March 15, 2016

Review: The Dragon Heir

The Dragon Heir The Dragon Heir by Cinda Williams Chima
My rating: 3 of 5 stars

I didn't love it, but then I didn't read the other books in the series so it doesn't seem quite fair.

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Saturday, March 12, 2016

Review: Poison Study

Poison Study Poison Study by Maria V. Snyder
My rating: 2 of 5 stars

I'm giving this book 2 stars (it was okay), and I wish I weren't. I wish it had been as awesome as it was promised to be. But, unfortunately, it wasn't.
The writing was okay. The flashbacks scenes really should have been in italics- that was the main thing I noticed, which is a pretty good sign that the rest at least wasn't objectionable. It took me three days to bother to get past the first page, simply because the lack of italics made things so confusing. This was handled better later in the book, but still... italics would have fixed everything. The dialogue was also rather problematic- I can't quite pinpoint what was wrong with it, but somehow it came off as laughably stiff and fake. I was able to mostly ignore it, but sometimes what should have been conversations so unimportant as to be unnoticed had me wincing and putting the book down.
The plot... meh. I was hoping for complex court intrigue and was given something at the depth of your average book intended for fifth graders. The author felt the need to explain everything three times, even things so obvious that they shouldn't have been explained at all. What subtlety there was was entirely and systematically destroyed by excessive exposition. It was disappointing. There was nothing special or interesting, no twists. Just... nothing.
Character-wise things were a little better. Yelena can be irritating but undeniably a fine heroine. Just not my kind of heroine. I had no real complaints about her, but nothing to compliment either. Meh. Valek was fine. As a character, that is. As a love interest he honestly terrifies me. He has a temper, and when he gets angry he throws things (Yelena is left cowering as he hurls rocks at her several times). Also, he's a known assassin and murderer (not just in the cause of good), but we have no problem with that... right? Because curls! For a physical and rape abuse victim in particular this horrifies me, but Valek isn't suited to be anyone's love interest. I found nothing swoon-worthy and much to intensely dislike. Their relationship was also a source of much eye-rolling throughout. The author felt the need to make things absurdly melodramatic (does he love you or is he just worried about someone filling a position he literally regularly murders people in because he considers them so disposable... LET'S THINK). Gah. Enough of that.
Setting-wise, okay. I'm not a huge fan of the military dictatorship they have going on, but whatever. The commander subplot was...um... unnecessary.
Basically, whole thing was incredibly mediocre, some bits were infuriating, and I'm not sure why it inspired me to such a long review.


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Thursday, March 10, 2016

Review: The Accidental Highwayman: Being the Tale of Kit Bristol, His Horse Midnight, a Mysterious Princess, and Sundry Magical Persons Besides

The Accidental Highwayman: Being the Tale of Kit Bristol, His Horse Midnight, a Mysterious Princess, and Sundry Magical Persons Besides The Accidental Highwayman: Being the Tale of Kit Bristol, His Horse Midnight, a Mysterious Princess, and Sundry Magical Persons Besides by Ben Tripp
My rating: 2 of 5 stars

I'm bringing it up to 2/3 because it did have occasional moments, and there was a lot of potential. Unfortunately potential was all there was, and this was a fairly terrible book. Predictable, mediocre, and not very well written. At least it was short.

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Wednesday, March 2, 2016

Review: A Countess Below Stairs

A Countess Below Stairs A Countess Below Stairs by Eva Ibbotson
My rating: 3 of 5 stars

3/3 Very recognizably Eva Ibbotson, much to my surprise. Just a bit more adult. I enjoyed it a lot, although the Jewish characters made me cringe.

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Tuesday, March 1, 2016

Review: Stolen Songbird

Stolen Songbird Stolen Songbird by Danielle L. Jensen
My rating: 1 of 5 stars

It would have gotten two stars (average) if not for two facts: Tristan's POV chapters and the ending that was in fact just a set up for a sequel. It was a fairly mediocre book except when it was absolutely terrible. I could go on but it's really not worth this much of my time, so I won't.

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